Of relationships...

Steffan called last night. Course is finally over, and things are ok.

Strangely, no gushing feeling of warmth or tears of joy. Just a normal hello.... How come? Got no idea... Seems like I have come to accept things as they are. This is part of his job, and such scenarios will be part of my life then.. I dun noe. Maybe a little angry... Maybe a bit worried having not enough time when he is back . I think anger plays a bigger part la. Ad I know this will happen again and I will be feeling abandoned and left alone. And it has been frens who have accompanied during this period that made me pull through la... So a bit angry for being left alone.. :( Hmm dun noe how to describe. Even though I know he is back, I know sooner or later he will fly off again... Leaving me to handle my life on my own.. And his. :( For the 2 months I din contact his parents.. Because I dun noe wat to say and how to say la.. Just nothing to tok about really. I don't think I can handle this..

Takes actually some substantial effort to then fit him back when he returns... Maybe things will be better after the pageant and after the CFA exams ba... Wait it out and see ba.

Schedule's been planned tight all the way till the finals for Miss Earth. may not even have time to celebrate my birthday... Sigh..

Oh well, shall see how things goes then. Work time!